One Week From Now I'll Be

One week from now I'll be standing in Newcastle Airport looking perplexed while waiting for my luggage bag to arrive at the conveyer belt. I will curse of how tiring the 18 hours journey has been but thankful for the safe journey landing in Amsterdam (transit) and in Newcastle.

One week from now I'll be 6583 miles away from my home, my Subang Jaya, where I've grew up in my entire life. I will be welcomed by the University's hospitality team at the airport and they will help me settle into my new home which I will call it my fairytale room, overseeing the Sunderland bridge and the North Sea.

One week from now I'll be living a new chapter of my life that I've never expected I'd be living it. I'll be meeting new friends during the Freshers Week. I might dread it but I know it's something I need to do before everyone forms their own circle of friends and I'll be the outcast *silent cringe*. I will tell myself that I can do this and did not come all the way here just to hide in my own room.

One week from now I'll be looking forward to finally be independent from my family. No one to take care of me but myself. No one to tell me if I get home too late but myself. I will love this new found freedom of my 21 years. I will also hate this new found freedom and try very hard to stay grounded and be a responsible adult/student.

___

Lots of people have asked me if I'm excited, scared or prepared for this 1 year study abroad. To be honest, my answers have always been either excited or scared. But nothing can truly prepare me well enough for this new chapter, not even the people who have been there, done that. No matter how many advices people gave me regarding studying abroad and fitting in to the Western culture, I don't think it's enough to mentally process it until I have truly arrived at there and lived it.

But for now, I wished I had more time to meet more people before I go abroad. Then again, I want to be at home for my parents. Knowing it'll be difficult for them without me at home (I'm an only child). I apologise to you if I did not ask you out for a meal before I leave, know that you are always welcome to visit me in the UK if I happened to still be there then.

"One year is very fast. Next thing you know, you'll be making friends there and you'll be coming home already." are what most people told me. But I don't want it to be fast, I want it to be worth it. I don't want to think about home when I'm there. I don't want to miss the Malaysian food or the weather. I'll make it a goal to accomplish a list of things while I'm there and one of it is to learn the accent. Yes, I'm one of those people who speaks a funny English accent just because.

One week from now, one month from now or one year from now.. I know I'll be a different person. Till then, this Jean is here to stay for a week more.

xoxo,
JC.

One For The Books

It's been a while since I last posted photos of my fabulous and wonderful parents... So here they are! (Gleeing like a 5 year old back in Kindie when her parents picks her up from school) 

Proud Asian parents they are at my FYP showcase back in 7 November 2014. I really am behind my game here aren't I? Well, better late than never!

Much loves,
Jean
Daughter of Two Very Proud Asian Parents Who Choose To Go Into Filming Than Accounting
(This could be my official sign off someday. Hah!)

When The Candle Blows Out

Dear friends who still reads my lonesome blog,

My life is a mess. Not in a way like oh-shit-I-have-no-idea-what-to-do-next but more like why-is-everything-everywhere and I-don't-want-to-care-anymore kinda mess.

Truth to be told, I'm second guessing if this stress load is worth my time and effort. I have chosen the road less taken. The intriguing roller coaster ride. The banishment of joy. The sorrow that created Edvard Munch's The Scream painting. But I'm still alive.

Deliberating the pathway to my future, I need to 'suck up' to this immense stressful times and measure the benefits of this experience that I would somehow gain from it to be put to practice in my future career as (hopefully and maybe) a lecturer/advisor.

As quoted by David Duchemin, he said "Failure is a much more faithful teacher than immediate success." Clearly he has not been in a position where failure is not allowed or he would have said "Everyone else fails but me, because I'm Asian and I was created to prove the impossible." Damn straight son.

Very stereotyping, I know. But it's true.

Till then,
Jean
High Achiever Asian Girl Wannabe